成果範例
Manuscript critique: opening chapters of a small-town mystery
Overall impression
The voice is the strongest thing here: warm, a little wry, with a clear sense of the harbour town. The mystery itself starts too late. The body is found on page 19; until then we have two chapters of setup that are pleasant but low on tension.
Plot and structure
- Chapter 1 introduces Nell's bookshop, her cat, her ex-husband and the festival committee. Four threads at once, none with a question attached.
- The lighthouse keeper's death would work far better as the end of chapter 1, not the middle of chapter 3.
- The festival deadline is a good ticking clock. Mention it early and keep returning to it.
Characters and dialogue
Nell is likeable, but mostly passive in the opening: things happen near her rather than because of her. Give her one small choice in chapter 1 that has consequences later.
Dialogue is natural, but characters often explain what both already know:
"As you know, Nell, the lighthouse has been closed since the storm three years ago."
Suggested: "Still closed?" Nell nodded at the lighthouse. "Three years, and they still haven't fixed the door."
Style and language
- Strong sensory details: "the smell of tar and lemon soap" sets the scene in six words.
- Overuse of "just" (41 times) and "suddenly" (12 times) softens tension.
- Several long paragraphs of backstory in chapter 2 (pp. 11–13) stop the scene; spread them across later chapters.
What works
- The cat, Admiral, is a charming running joke without stealing scenes
- The town feels lived in; secondary characters are distinct from first appearance
- Nell's humour fits the genre perfectly
Revision plan
- Move the discovery of the body to the end of chapter 1; cut or compress what comes before
- Give Nell a decision in chapter 1 (e.g., she lends the keeper a book that is later found with him)
- Remove "as you know" exchanges; let the reader infer
- Search and trim "just" and "suddenly" by at least half
- Move backstory from chapter 2 into short flashes later in the book
- Plant the festival deadline in the first two pages
Client: first-time novelist. Text: chapters 1–3 of The Lantern Keeper, a cozy mystery, 4,800 words. Author's question: "Does the opening hook readers, and is my detective likeable?"
客戶與所有細節皆為虛構。
關於此服務
戲劇活在舞台上，所以我們閱讀您的劇本時，著眼於觀眾會看到和聽到什麼：每場戲是否有衝突與轉折、上下場與換場是否順暢，以及角色是否有各自獨特的聲音。我們也會看劇院重視的實務面，例如演員人數、一人分飾多角、佈景與演出時長。評析最後附有修改計畫，以及朗讀會或投稿參加戲劇節的建議。
包含內容
- 您會收到什麼針對結構、場次、角色、對白與舞台呈現的書面評析，附逐場表格與修改計畫，以文字及 .docx 檔提供。進階版另附開頭幾頁的逐行修改。
- 逐場分析衝突、轉折與目的
- 對白與聲音說得出口的台詞、各具特色的人物
- 可搬上舞台演員人數、分飾多角、佈景、換場
- 演出時長估計時間與可刪減之處
- 修改計畫下一稿的優先事項
服務流程
- 1上傳您貼上文字或附上 Word 或 PDF
- 2閱讀我們以觀眾與導演的角度閱讀
- 3交付您會收到文字與 .docx 的評析
需要您提供的資料
以貼上或 Word、PDF 附上的劇本、是獨幕劇還是長篇劇、預計的演員人數、您心中的劇院或戲劇節類型，以及您主要的擔憂。
我們會詢問您：
- 這是獨幕劇還是長篇劇？
- 您預計用幾位演員？
- 您希望在哪裡演出或投稿？
- 這個劇本最讓您擔心什麼？
比較方案
付款保障
下單時付款，但只有在驗收成果後，款項才會撥付。
- 固定價格付款後，方案價格不會變動。
- 款項先行保留付款時，金額只會先保留，在您驗收後才會撥付給服務。
- 交付前檢查每份成果在交到您手上之前都會經過品質檢查，您也可以在驗收前於訂單頁面查看成果。
- 免費修改在需求說明範圍內，可依方案允許的次數提出修改。
- 3 天後自動驗收若您在交付後 3 天內未驗收也未提出修改，成果將自動驗收。若您在交付後於訂單聊天室留言，訂單會暫停自動驗收；我們回覆後，可能會重新起算 3 天，並會在聊天室中告知。
- 重新製作或全額退款若成果不符合您的需求說明且修改後仍未改善，或製作時間超過交付期限的兩倍，請在訂單聊天室留言：我們將重新製作，或全額退還款項。
常見問題
你們會把劇本排成業界標準格式嗎？
不會，這是評析。我們會指出會讓讀者分心的格式問題，但不會重新排版檔案。
可以是音樂劇嗎？
可以。我們評析劇本與歌曲的安排；不評判音樂本身。
你們會直接編輯我的檔案嗎？
不會。評析會以獨立的文字與 .docx 檔提供。逐行修改以修改前後對照的段落呈現，而不是您稿件中的追蹤修訂。
沒有找到您要的答案？