Payment protectionDetails
- Revisions within the package are free.
- If you do not respond within 3 days of delivery, the work is accepted automatically.
The money is reserved when you pay and released only once you accept the work.
Example result
Manuscript critique: opening chapters of a small-town mystery
Overall impression
The voice is the strongest thing here: warm, a little wry, with a clear sense of the harbour town. The mystery itself starts too late. The body is found on page 19; until then we have two chapters of setup that are pleasant but low on tension.
Plot and structure
- Chapter 1 introduces Nell's bookshop, her cat, her ex-husband and the festival committee. Four threads at once, none with a question attached.
- The lighthouse keeper's death would work far better as the end of chapter 1, not the middle of chapter 3.
- The festival deadline is a good ticking clock. Mention it early and keep returning to it.
Characters and dialogue
Nell is likeable, but mostly passive in the opening: things happen near her rather than because of her. Give her one small choice in chapter 1 that has consequences later.
Dialogue is natural, but characters often explain what both already know:
"As you know, Nell, the lighthouse has been closed since the storm three years ago."
Suggested: "Still closed?" Nell nodded at the lighthouse. "Three years, and they still haven't fixed the door."
Style and language
- Strong sensory details: "the smell of tar and lemon soap" sets the scene in six words.
- Overuse of "just" (41 times) and "suddenly" (12 times) softens tension.
- Several long paragraphs of backstory in chapter 2 (pp. 11–13) stop the scene; spread them across later chapters.
What works
- The cat, Admiral, is a charming running joke without stealing scenes
- The town feels lived in; secondary characters are distinct from first appearance
- Nell's humour fits the genre perfectly
Revision plan
- Move the discovery of the body to the end of chapter 1; cut or compress what comes before
- Give Nell a decision in chapter 1 (e.g., she lends the keeper a book that is later found with him)
- Remove "as you know" exchanges; let the reader infer
- Search and trim "just" and "suddenly" by at least half
- Move backstory from chapter 2 into short flashes later in the book
- Plant the festival deadline in the first two pages
Client: first-time novelist. Text: chapters 1–3 of The Lantern Keeper, a cozy mystery, 4,800 words. Author's question: "Does the opening hook readers, and is my detective likeable?"
The client and all details are made up.
About this service
Serial fiction on Royal Road, Wattpad, Webnovel or Tapas is judged chapter by chapter, and readers drop a story within the first few chapters if the hook, the stakes or the system are unclear. We read your opening chapters for the hook, chapter-end pulls, release-sized pacing, info-dumps, progression or power-system clarity and the cover blurb and tags that bring readers in. You get notes tied to what serial readers expect in your genre, from LitRPG to romance.
What is included
- What you getA written critique of the opening chapters with a chapter-by-chapter table, notes on the blurb and tags and a revision plan, as text and a .docx file. Premium adds line edits of chapter one.
- First-chapter hookWhy a reader stays
- Chapter endingsThe pull to the next release
- System and stakesProgression, power and rules clear
- Info-dumpsWhere lore slows the start
- Blurb and tagsWhat draws the right readers
How it works
- 1UploadYou paste the text or attach Word or PDF
- 2ReadingWe read each chapter as a serial reader
- 3DeliveryYou get the critique as text and .docx
What we need from you
The chapters pasted or attached as Word or PDF, the platform, genre and tags, your blurb, the release schedule and, if it is already published, your stats and reader comments.
We will ask you:
- Which platform and genre?
- How long are your chapters and how often do you post?
- Is the story already live? What do the stats show?
- What is your blurb?
Compare packages
| Packages | BasicUp to 3,000 words$20 | StandardUp to 8,000 words$39 | PremiumUp to 20,000 words$75 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Deadline | 2 days | 3 days | 5 days |
| Revisions | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| Text length | up to 3,000 words | up to 8,000 words | up to 20,000 words |
| Blurb and tags notes | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| Line edits | No | No | chapter one, up to 3,000 words |
| Order Basic | Order Standard | Order Premium |
Payment protection
You pay when you order, but the money is released only for accepted work.
- Fixed priceThe package price does not change after you pay.
- The money is reservedWhen you pay, the amount is only reserved. It is released to the service once you accept the work.
- Checked before deliveryEvery result goes through a quality check before it reaches you, and you see it on the order page before accepting it.
- Free revisionsAsk for changes within your brief as many times as the package allows.
- Acceptance after 3 daysIf within 3 days of delivery you neither accept the work nor ask for changes, it is accepted automatically. If you write in the order chat after delivery, the order waits; once we answer, we may start the 3 days again and will say so in the chat.
- Redo or a full refundIf the result does not match your brief and the revisions did not fix it, or the work takes more than twice its deadline, write in the order chat: we will redo the work or refund the payment in full.
Questions and answers
Can you get my story on trending lists?
No one can promise that. We help the opening chapters, blurb and tags do their job; rankings depend on readers and the platform.
Will you read my comments section?
We do not open your page, but paste or attach a selection of comments and we take them into account.
Will you edit my file directly?
No. The critique comes as a separate text and .docx file. Line edits are shown as before-and-after passages, not as tracked changes in your manuscript.