成果範例
Manuscript critique: opening chapters of a small-town mystery
Overall impression
The voice is the strongest thing here: warm, a little wry, with a clear sense of the harbour town. The mystery itself starts too late. The body is found on page 19; until then we have two chapters of setup that are pleasant but low on tension.
Plot and structure
- Chapter 1 introduces Nell's bookshop, her cat, her ex-husband and the festival committee. Four threads at once, none with a question attached.
- The lighthouse keeper's death would work far better as the end of chapter 1, not the middle of chapter 3.
- The festival deadline is a good ticking clock. Mention it early and keep returning to it.
Characters and dialogue
Nell is likeable, but mostly passive in the opening: things happen near her rather than because of her. Give her one small choice in chapter 1 that has consequences later.
Dialogue is natural, but characters often explain what both already know:
"As you know, Nell, the lighthouse has been closed since the storm three years ago."
Suggested: "Still closed?" Nell nodded at the lighthouse. "Three years, and they still haven't fixed the door."
Style and language
- Strong sensory details: "the smell of tar and lemon soap" sets the scene in six words.
- Overuse of "just" (41 times) and "suddenly" (12 times) softens tension.
- Several long paragraphs of backstory in chapter 2 (pp. 11–13) stop the scene; spread them across later chapters.
What works
- The cat, Admiral, is a charming running joke without stealing scenes
- The town feels lived in; secondary characters are distinct from first appearance
- Nell's humour fits the genre perfectly
Revision plan
- Move the discovery of the body to the end of chapter 1; cut or compress what comes before
- Give Nell a decision in chapter 1 (e.g., she lends the keeper a book that is later found with him)
- Remove "as you know" exchanges; let the reader infer
- Search and trim "just" and "suddenly" by at least half
- Move backstory from chapter 2 into short flashes later in the book
- Plant the festival deadline in the first two pages
Client: first-time novelist. Text: chapters 1–3 of The Lantern Keeper, a cozy mystery, 4,800 words. Author's question: "Does the opening hook readers, and is my detective likeable?"
客戶與所有細節皆為虛構。
關於此服務
漫畫劇本是給畫家的一套指示，因此閱讀方式與散文不同：翻頁、格數、一格實際畫得出什麼，以及對話框裡能放多少字。我們逐頁檢視節奏、翻頁處揭露的安排、一格同時要求兩個動作的格子描述、擠壓畫面的對白，以及故事是否適合單集或單行本的篇幅。您會得到編劇在聘請畫家之前就能據以行動的意見。
包含內容
- 您會收到什麼一份書面評析，包含整體意見、逐頁節奏表，以及標出的分格與對話框，以文字及 .docx 檔提供。
- 翻頁節奏揭露安排在雙數頁
- 畫得出來的分格一格一個時刻
- 對話框負擔擠壓畫面的字數
- 故事結構單集的弧線與懸念
- 角色與語氣各具特色的說話方式與動機
服務流程
- 1上傳您貼上文字或附上 Word 或 PDF
- 2閱讀我們像畫家一樣逐頁閱讀
- 3交付您會收到文字與 .docx 的評析
需要您提供的資料
完整劇本（Full Script）或 Marvel 方法（Marvel-method）格式的劇本，以貼上或 Word、PDF 附上，目標格式（網路漫畫、單集、圖像小說）、類型與讀者群。
我們會詢問您：
- 這是用於什麼格式？
- 是完整劇本，還是先寫情節？
- 讀者是誰？
比較方案
付款保障
下單時付款，但只有在驗收成果後，款項才會撥付。
- 固定價格付款後，方案價格不會變動。
- 款項先行保留付款時，金額只會先保留，在您驗收後才會撥付給服務。
- 交付前檢查每份成果在交到您手上之前都會經過品質檢查，您也可以在驗收前於訂單頁面查看成果。
- 免費修改在需求說明範圍內，可依方案允許的次數提出修改。
- 3 天後自動驗收若您在交付後 3 天內未驗收也未提出修改，成果將自動驗收。若您在交付後於訂單聊天室留言，訂單會暫停自動驗收；我們回覆後，可能會重新起算 3 天，並會在聊天室中告知。
- 重新製作或全額退款若成果不符合您的需求說明且修改後仍未改善，或製作時間超過交付期限的兩倍，請在訂單聊天室留言：我們將重新製作，或全額退還款項。
常見問題
你們會畫縮圖或版面嗎？
不會。這是對劇本的書面評析。意見會說明每一頁需要什麼，讓畫家可以據此排版。
適用於條漫（Webtoon）嗎？
適用。對於垂直捲動的形式，我們會檢視格與格之間的間距，以及依捲動位置安排的揭露，而不是翻頁。
你們會直接編輯我的檔案嗎？
不會。評析會以獨立的文字與 .docx 檔提供。逐行修改以修改前後對照的段落呈現，而不是您稿件中的追蹤修訂。
沒有找到您要的答案？