成果範例
Manuscript critique: opening chapters of a small-town mystery
Overall impression
The voice is the strongest thing here: warm, a little wry, with a clear sense of the harbour town. The mystery itself starts too late. The body is found on page 19; until then we have two chapters of setup that are pleasant but low on tension.
Plot and structure
- Chapter 1 introduces Nell's bookshop, her cat, her ex-husband and the festival committee. Four threads at once, none with a question attached.
- The lighthouse keeper's death would work far better as the end of chapter 1, not the middle of chapter 3.
- The festival deadline is a good ticking clock. Mention it early and keep returning to it.
Characters and dialogue
Nell is likeable, but mostly passive in the opening: things happen near her rather than because of her. Give her one small choice in chapter 1 that has consequences later.
Dialogue is natural, but characters often explain what both already know:
"As you know, Nell, the lighthouse has been closed since the storm three years ago."
Suggested: "Still closed?" Nell nodded at the lighthouse. "Three years, and they still haven't fixed the door."
Style and language
- Strong sensory details: "the smell of tar and lemon soap" sets the scene in six words.
- Overuse of "just" (41 times) and "suddenly" (12 times) softens tension.
- Several long paragraphs of backstory in chapter 2 (pp. 11–13) stop the scene; spread them across later chapters.
What works
- The cat, Admiral, is a charming running joke without stealing scenes
- The town feels lived in; secondary characters are distinct from first appearance
- Nell's humour fits the genre perfectly
Revision plan
- Move the discovery of the body to the end of chapter 1; cut or compress what comes before
- Give Nell a decision in chapter 1 (e.g., she lends the keeper a book that is later found with him)
- Remove "as you know" exchanges; let the reader infer
- Search and trim "just" and "suddenly" by at least half
- Move backstory from chapter 2 into short flashes later in the book
- Plant the festival deadline in the first two pages
Client: first-time novelist. Text: chapters 1–3 of The Lantern Keeper, a cozy mystery, 4,800 words. Author's question: "Does the opening hook readers, and is my detective likeable?"
客戶與所有細節皆為虛構。
關於此服務
文學經紀人每週要讀數百封投稿信，通常不到一分鐘就會做出決定。我們針對他們看重的重點評析您的投稿信：開頭幾行的吸引力、風險與主角的抉擇、類型與字數、近年的可比擬作品，以及簡短而相關的作者簡介。依方案不同，我們也會檢視您的故事大綱，看情節主線是否清晰並說明了結局，以及以經紀人的角度閱讀您的開頭頁面。
包含內容
- 您會收到什麼一份對您投稿信的書面評析，含逐行評語與建議結構；較大型方案另附故事大綱與開頭頁面的評語。
- 吸引力與風險開頭幾行是否讓經紀人願意讀下去
- 可比擬作品近年的、符合實際的、與您類型相同的作品
- 基本要素齊備類型、字數與相關的作者簡介
- 故事大綱檢視情節主線清楚，並說明結局
- 開頭頁面以經紀人的角度閱讀（進階版）
服務流程
- 1需求說明您貼上或附上投稿信與其他資料
- 2閱讀我們以經紀人篩選投稿信的角度閱讀
- 3評析您會收到評語與更有力的結構
需要您提供的資料
貼在需求說明中的投稿信、故事大綱與開頭頁面、小說的類型與字數，以及您鎖定的經紀人或市場。文件也可以用 PDF、Word 或 Excel 檔案附上。
我們會詢問您：
- 您的小說類型與字數是什麼？
- 您向哪些市場或經紀人投稿？
- 您以哪些書作為可比擬作品？
- 到目前為止，您收到過任何經紀人的回饋嗎？
比較方案
付款保障
下單時付款，但只有在驗收成果後，款項才會撥付。
- 固定價格付款後，方案價格不會變動。
- 款項先行保留付款時，金額只會先保留，在您驗收後才會撥付給服務。
- 交付前檢查每份成果在交到您手上之前都會經過品質檢查，您也可以在驗收前於訂單頁面查看成果。
- 免費修改在需求說明範圍內，可依方案允許的次數提出修改。
- 3 天後自動驗收若您在交付後 3 天內未驗收也未提出修改，成果將自動驗收。若您在交付後於訂單聊天室留言，訂單會暫停自動驗收；我們回覆後，可能會重新起算 3 天，並會在聊天室中告知。
- 重新製作或全額退款若成果不符合您的需求說明且修改後仍未改善，或製作時間超過交付期限的兩倍，請在訂單聊天室留言：我們將重新製作，或全額退還款項。
常見問題
這樣能讓我找到經紀人嗎？
沒有人能承諾這一點。我們幫助您的投稿信展現這本書最好的一面。
你們會幫我寫投稿信嗎？
不會。我們評析您寫的信，並建議結構與範例句子。最終的信仍由您撰寫。
我的故事大綱應該透露結局嗎？
應該，經紀人期待如此。我們會檢查是否有寫，以及情節主線是否容易跟上。
我的稿件會保密嗎？
會。您的文字只用於您的訂單。
沒有找到您要的答案？