Picture book critiqueProofreading & Copy Editing

Critique of a children’s picture book manuscript

Usually ready in 15 minutesRevisions includedQuality check
Payment protectionDetails
  • Revisions within the package are free.
  • If you do not respond within 3 days of delivery, the work is accepted automatically.
Order · $29

The money is reserved when you pay and released only once you accept the work.

Critique of a children’s picture book manuscript

Example result

Example for the Standard package

Manuscript critique: opening chapters of a small-town mystery

Overall impression

The voice is the strongest thing here: warm, a little wry, with a clear sense of the harbour town. The mystery itself starts too late. The body is found on page 19; until then we have two chapters of setup that are pleasant but low on tension.

Plot and structure

  • Chapter 1 introduces Nell's bookshop, her cat, her ex-husband and the festival committee. Four threads at once, none with a question attached.
  • The lighthouse keeper's death would work far better as the end of chapter 1, not the middle of chapter 3.
  • The festival deadline is a good ticking clock. Mention it early and keep returning to it.

Characters and dialogue

Nell is likeable, but mostly passive in the opening: things happen near her rather than because of her. Give her one small choice in chapter 1 that has consequences later.

Dialogue is natural, but characters often explain what both already know:

"As you know, Nell, the lighthouse has been closed since the storm three years ago."

Suggested: "Still closed?" Nell nodded at the lighthouse. "Three years, and they still haven't fixed the door."

Style and language

  • Strong sensory details: "the smell of tar and lemon soap" sets the scene in six words.
  • Overuse of "just" (41 times) and "suddenly" (12 times) softens tension.
  • Several long paragraphs of backstory in chapter 2 (pp. 11–13) stop the scene; spread them across later chapters.

What works

  • The cat, Admiral, is a charming running joke without stealing scenes
  • The town feels lived in; secondary characters are distinct from first appearance
  • Nell's humour fits the genre perfectly

Revision plan

  1. Move the discovery of the body to the end of chapter 1; cut or compress what comes before
  2. Give Nell a decision in chapter 1 (e.g., she lends the keeper a book that is later found with him)
  3. Remove "as you know" exchanges; let the reader infer
  4. Search and trim "just" and "suddenly" by at least half
  5. Move backstory from chapter 2 into short flashes later in the book
  6. Plant the festival deadline in the first two pages

Client: first-time novelist. Text: chapters 1–3 of The Lantern Keeper, a cozy mystery, 4,800 words. Author's question: "Does the opening hook readers, and is my detective likeable?"

The client and all details are made up.

About this service

We critique picture book manuscripts with the read-aloud in mind: is the text short enough for the age group, does each spread give the illustrator something to show, do page turns create surprise, and does the child, not an adult, solve the problem? For rhyming texts we check meter and forced rhymes line by line. You also get advice on art notes, which should be few and only where the text cannot work without them.

What is included

  • What you getA written critique of each manuscript: read-aloud rhythm, story arc, page-turn and spread suggestions, art note advice and a revision plan. Premium adds line edits of the full text.
  • Read-aloud rhythmSound, repetition and meter
  • Page turns and spreadsA suggested breakdown into spreads
  • Child-centered storyThe child drives the solution
  • Word count for the ageWhere to cut for picture book length
  • Art note adviceWhich to keep and which to drop

How it works

  1. 1
    BriefYou send the manuscript and age group
  2. 2
    Reading and critiqueWe read aloud-style and map the spreads
  3. 3
    DeliveryYou get the critique and revision plan

What we need from you

The full manuscript text with any art notes, the age group and whether you plan to submit to agents or self-publish.

We will ask you:

  • What age group is the book for?
  • Is the text in rhyme or prose?
  • Do you plan to submit to agents or self-publish?
  • What worries you most?

Compare packages

Basic1 manuscript critique$15StandardUp to 2 manuscripts with spreads$29PremiumUp to 4 manuscripts with line edits$55
Deadline2 days3 days5 days
Revisions123
Manuscripts1up to 2up to 4
Length per manuscriptup to 1,000 wordsup to 1,000 wordsup to 1,000 words
Spread breakdownNoYesYes
Line editsNoNoYes
OrderOrderOrder

Payment protection

You pay when you order, but the money is released only for accepted work.

  • Fixed priceThe package price does not change after you pay.
  • The money is reservedWhen you pay, the amount is only reserved. It is released to the service once you accept the work.
  • Checked before deliveryEvery result goes through a quality check before it reaches you, and you see it on the order page before accepting it.
  • Free revisionsAsk for changes within your brief as many times as the package allows.
  • Acceptance after 3 daysIf within 3 days of delivery you neither accept the work nor ask for changes, it is accepted automatically. If you write in the order chat after delivery, the order waits; once we answer, we may start the 3 days again and will say so in the chat.
  • Redo or a full refundIf the result does not match your brief and the revisions did not fix it, or the work takes more than twice its deadline, write in the order chat: we will redo the work or refund the payment in full.
How it works →

Questions and answers

Do you illustrate the book?

No, this is a critique of the text. Illustrations are a separate service.

My text is 1,500 words. Is that too long?

For most picture books, yes; many publishers look for under 600 to 800 words. We show where to cut.

Is my manuscript kept private?

Yes. Your text is used only for your order.

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Order · $29· ~15 min