寫作短篇小說評析
投稿比賽或雜誌前的短篇小說評析
價格起 US$12
成果範例
標準版方案範例
Manuscript critique: opening chapters of a small-town mystery
Overall impression
The voice is the strongest thing here: warm, a little wry, with a clear sense of the harbour town. The mystery itself starts too late. The body is found on page 19; until then we have two chapters of setup that are pleasant but low on tension.
Plot and structure
- Chapter 1 introduces Nell's bookshop, her cat, her ex-husband and the festival committee. Four threads at once, none with a question attached.
- The lighthouse keeper's death would work far better as the end of chapter 1, not the middle of chapter 3.
- The festival deadline is a good ticking clock. Mention it early and keep returning to it.
Characters and dialogue
Nell is likeable, but mostly passive in the opening: things happen near her rather than because of her. Give her one small choice in chapter 1 that has consequences later.
Dialogue is natural, but characters often explain what both already know:
"As you know, Nell, the lighthouse has been closed since the storm three years ago."
Suggested: "Still closed?" Nell nodded at the lighthouse. "Three years, and they still haven't fixed the door."
Style and language
- Strong sensory details: "the smell of tar and lemon soap" sets the scene in six words.
- Overuse of "just" (41 times) and "suddenly" (12 times) softens tension.
- Several long paragraphs of backstory in chapter 2 (pp. 11–13) stop the scene; spread them across later chapters.
What works
- The cat, Admiral, is a charming running joke without stealing scenes
- The town feels lived in; secondary characters are distinct from first appearance
- Nell's humour fits the genre perfectly
Revision plan
- Move the discovery of the body to the end of chapter 1; cut or compress what comes before
- Give Nell a decision in chapter 1 (e.g., she lends the keeper a book that is later found with him)
- Remove "as you know" exchanges; let the reader infer
- Search and trim "just" and "suddenly" by at least half
- Move backstory from chapter 2 into short flashes later in the book
- Plant the festival deadline in the first two pages
Client: first-time novelist. Text: chapters 1–3 of The Lantern Keeper, a cozy mystery, 4,800 words. Author's question: "Does the opening hook readers, and is my detective likeable?"
客戶與所有細節皆為虛構。
關於此服務
恐怖小說的成敗在於恐懼感，所以我們閱讀您的小說，看恐懼在哪裡累積、在哪裡流失，以及驚嚇是否來得有道理。我們檢視平靜與驚悚場景之間的節奏、您的怪物或鬧鬼的規則、多少是明示、多少留在黑暗中，以及結局是否回報了前面的恐懼。評析會依您的次類型調整，無論是民俗、宇宙、心理、殺人魔還是鬼屋。
包含內容
- 您會收到什麼一份書面評析：整體印象、優點、引用您稿件的問題、張力起伏的位置地圖，以及修改計畫。進階版另含開頭的逐行編修。
- 恐懼感與張力在哪裡累積、在哪裡流失
- 有鋪陳的驚嚇每次驚嚇前的鋪墊
- 恐怖的規則怪物、詛咒或鬧鬼的設定前後一致
- 明示與隱藏何時揭露、何時按下不表
- 結局的回報是否兌現了恐懼
服務流程
- 1需求說明您貼上或附上稿件頁面與次類型
- 2閱讀我們逐場景追蹤張力
- 3評析您會收到張力地圖與修改計畫
需要您提供的資料
貼在需求說明中的文字、次類型、若為節選則附簡短的故事大綱，以及您希望讀者感受到的效果。文件也可以用 PDF、Word 或 Excel 檔案附上。
我們會詢問您：
- 是哪種恐怖次類型？
- 讀者在結尾時應該有什麼感受？
- 這本書的血腥程度預期有多高？
- 這是完整作品還是節選？
比較方案
付款保障
下單時付款，但只有在驗收成果後，款項才會撥付。
- 固定價格付款後，方案價格不會變動。
- 款項先行保留付款時，金額只會先保留，在您驗收後才會撥付給服務。
- 交付前檢查每份成果在交到您手上之前都會經過品質檢查，您也可以在驗收前於訂單頁面查看成果。
- 免費修改在需求說明範圍內，可依方案允許的次數提出修改。
- 3 天後自動驗收若您在交付後 3 天內未驗收也未提出修改，成果將自動驗收。若您在交付後於訂單聊天室留言，訂單會暫停自動驗收；我們回覆後，可能會重新起算 3 天，並會在聊天室中告知。
- 重新製作或全額退款若成果不符合您的需求說明且修改後仍未改善，或製作時間超過交付期限的兩倍，請在訂單聊天室留言：我們將重新製作，或全額退還款項。
常見問題
你們會讀血腥暴力內容嗎？
會，作為成人讀者故事的一部分。我們評論它如何為恐懼服務，而不評論是否過頭。
你們能看出我的轉折是否太容易被猜到嗎？
可以。我們會註明在哪裡猜到了，以及是什麼洩了底。
你們會重寫我的故事嗎？
不會。您會得到要改什麼與原因的筆記，驚嚇仍由您自己來寫。進階版另含開頭的逐行編修。
我的稿件會保密嗎？
會。您的文字只用於您的訂單。
沒有找到您要的答案？
