成果範例
Text rewrite: "About us" page of a family bakery for new customers
Before (excerpt)
It all began many, many years ago, back in 1987, when our grandmother Rosa, who had always loved baking ever since she was a little girl growing up in the countryside, decided, after a lot of thinking and with the support of the whole family, to open a small bakery on Mill Lane. In those days there were not so many bakeries around and people really appreciated having fresh bread. Over the years, we have grown a lot and nowadays we bake more than 40 kinds of bread and pastries every day, and we also try our best to use local ingredients whenever it is possible to do so.
After (excerpt)
Baking on Mill Lane since 1987
Rosa opened our first bakery on Mill Lane in 1987 with one oven and three recipes from her village. Today her grandchildren run two shops and bake more than 40 kinds of bread and pastries every morning.
We still work the way she did: long, slow fermentation, flour from a mill 30 miles away and butter from a local dairy. As Rosa put it, "Good bread needs time, not tricks."
For cafés and restaurants
Since 2024 we also bake for cafés. Order by 2 pm and your bread arrives before 7 am the next day, six days a week.
Summary of changes
| What | Before | After |
|---|---|---|
| Length | 1,380 words | 790 words (−43%) |
| Structure | One long story in 11 paragraphs | 4 sections: our story, how we bake, for cafés, visit us |
| Audience | Neighbours who know the family | New customers and café owners |
| Sentences | Average 31 words | Average 14 words |
What was changed:
- Repeated ideas cut (the "love of baking" appeared 5 times; now once, through what Rosa did)
- Vague phrases like "try our best to use local ingredients" replaced with the concrete facts you gave us elsewhere on the page (the mill, the dairy)
- A new section for cafés built only from the wholesale details in your brief (order time, delivery time, days)
- Headings added so a café owner can find "For cafés" without reading the whole story
What stayed exactly the same: the year 1987, Mill Lane, "more than 40 kinds", the 30-mile distance to the mill and Rosa's quote, word for word.
Client: Larkfield Bakery, a family bakery with two shops and a new wholesale line for cafés Input: the "About us" page, 1,380 words, written 10 years ago for neighbours who already knew the family Brief: rewrite for café owners and new customers; keep it warm but shorter and more concrete; keep all dates, numbers and the grandmother's quote unchanged
客戶與所有細節皆為虛構。
關於此服務
有些訊息很難不帶怒氣地寫：向房東的投訴、回覆無禮的客戶、給又一次錯過期限的同事的便條，或是寫給前伴侶、關於孩子的訊息。請把您的草稿寄給我們，不論多直白，我們都會把它改寫得平和有禮，同時保留每個事實、日期與請求，去除諷刺、全大寫與指責，並以清楚的下一步作結。結果在該堅定的地方仍然堅定，讓對方除了重點本身之外沒有任何可以爭辯的地方。
包含內容
- 您將獲得每則訊息的平和禮貌版本，可直接寄出，保留所有事實與請求；較高方案另附較柔和與較堅定兩種版本供選擇。以訂單頁面的文字及 Word（.docx）檔提供。
- 保留事實日期、金額與請求不變
- 去除火氣沒有諷刺、全大寫或指責
- 清楚的請求附日期的單一下一步
- 較柔和或較堅定較高方案提供兩種版本
服務流程
- 1草稿您原樣貼上草稿
- 2改寫我們保留重點、去除火氣
- 3寄出您挑選一個版本並寄出
需要您提供的資料
您的草稿或筆記、您回覆的原訊息（如有）、收件人是誰、您希望接下來發生什麼，以及任何您不想提到的內容。
我們會詢問您：
- 這則訊息是寫給誰的？
- 您希望得到什麼結果？
- 您會用什麼方式寄出？
- 有什麼是絕對不能說的嗎？
比較方案
付款保障
下單時付款，但只有在驗收成果後，款項才會撥付。
- 固定價格付款後，方案價格不會變動。
- 款項先行保留付款時，金額只會先保留，在您驗收後才會撥付給服務。
- 交付前檢查每份成果在交到您手上之前都會經過品質檢查，您也可以在驗收前於訂單頁面查看成果。
- 免費修改在需求說明範圍內，可依方案允許的次數提出修改。
- 3 天後自動驗收若您在交付後 3 天內未驗收也未提出修改，成果將自動驗收。若您在交付後於訂單聊天室留言，訂單會暫停自動驗收；我們回覆後，可能會重新起算 3 天，並會在聊天室中告知。
- 重新製作或全額退款若成果不符合您的需求說明且修改後仍未改善，或製作時間超過交付期限的兩倍，請在訂單聊天室留言：我們將重新製作，或全額退還款項。
常見問題
這樣聽起來會顯得軟弱嗎？
不會。平和不等於軟弱：我們保留您的請求與期限，並用平實的方式表達，這通常更有說服力。
這適合用在法律糾紛嗎？
我們改善的是訊息的語氣，這不構成法律建議。如果糾紛可能上法院，請在寄出前讓律師閱讀訊息。
我的訊息會保密嗎？
只會用於您的訂單。如果您願意，也可以在草稿中以縮寫取代姓名。
沒有找到您要的答案？